What does St. Patricks Day mean to me?
Well it used to mean green beer and parades and bars and getting shitfaced! Yes my last drunk was back in 1986. I started off at a parade with friends, and woke up 3 days later in a part of town I had never been before. I had vague recollections of shots, dancing topless, different bars, being in taxi’s, going outside a bar in the middle of the day and being surprised that it was daylight, squinting in pain and getting drunker, thinking I was a big shot snorting coke through rolled up 100 dollar bills. I hadn’t eaten for 3 days. I was out of control. My fiancee had the police out looking for me. It wasn’t the first time it had happened.
But it was the last. I had hurt so many people that I cared about. I wanted to kill myself. As I sat there alone, sick and hung over as hell, with a knife in front of me, pondering if I would have the physical and mental strength to slit my own throat (I wasn’t going to mess around with slitting wrists, I wanted to be sure it would work), a little voice inside me said “you dumb bitch, don’t you know you only end up like this when you are drunk? why don’t you use the one brain cell you have left and call AA?”
You are not gonna believe this but I opened up the phone book and by chance it was to the correct page where AA was listed! CO-INCIDENCE? I think not! This nice girl came over, ( a former heroine addict) and held my head and chatted to me while I puked. I went to a meeting with her that night, and the next night, and every night after that for the next 90 days.
I have never looked back. I never want to drink ever again and I never have. My worst worst worst day ever sober, is still better than my best best best day drunk. I can’t believe I have been sober for 29 YEARS!
So that is what St. Patricks Day reminds me of! A good ole “REMEMBER WHEN….. ” Don’t get me wrong, I still love to go out, and get crazy, I’ll still dance naked, lol… .but I remember it the next day and don’t get arrested and don’t kill anyone… lol… Maybe I’ll have some green nearbeer today….
Enjoy the pics! Kisses all over your Shamrock!